Buffet Bites #6 — Humor: The Leadership Skill That Surely Sounds Unserious (And don't call me Shirley)

The Leadership Move McKinsey Says Matters More Than You Think

Connor Diemand-Yauman faced a moment most CEOs dread.

As co-CEO of Merit America, he was about to host his first all-hands Zoom during one of the most divisive weeks in recent American history (also known as every week in America now…).

His team needed reassurance. They needed clarity. They needed their leader to say something profound.

Instead, he pretended to leave his screen sharing on and googled:

"things inspirational CEOs say in hard times."

The whole company lost it.

That moment of strategic vulnerability did more to build trust than any perfectly polished message ever could. And it's exactly the kind of move McKinsey now identifies as essential to modern leadership.

McKinsey researchers named levity—the ability to use appropriate humor in serious moments—as a key trait of the most effective 21st-century leaders. This explains why Elon is paid so much…absolute comic legend.

Here's something most people miss: in an era where AI can write your emails and automation can run your meetings, humor remains your uniquely human edge. It's the difference between being a walking LinkedIn profile and being someone people actually want to work with (see, AI wrote that line, and it's not very funny.)

You've probably noticed that colleague with mediocre Excel skills who keeps getting promoted. They've cracked what I call the Engagement Equation:

(Technical Skill x Communication) + Humor = Influence²

Is that peer-reviewed? Absolutely not. But does it make sense? Maybe. Depends on how much sleep you had last night.

What does makes sense and is based on all of our lived experiences:

Your ability to connect often outweighs your ability to compute.

Like Maya Angelou wrote (and I am paraphrasing here): people will forget what you said and did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

Levity. Laughter. Lightening things up. Call it what you will, but those are pretty good things to feel.

See that comic below? That's not just decoration. It's a delivery system. Strategic humor in action.

Important disclaimer: Humor works on a spectrum. Even a tiny bit matters. That comic... barely doing its job but still counts. Strategery!

Chapter 6: The Business Buffet

Adding the Right Spice

In my book, I describe humor as that right spice in business that makes everything else more palatable. It's not the main ingredient, but without it, even the best strategy tastes bland, and the best intentions fall flat.

But humor is tricky. Too little and you're forgettable. Too much and you're unprofessional. The wrong kind and you've just torched your credibility in front of the entire C-suite.

Most of us think we're either comedy gold or completely hopeless at humor. Most of us are 100% wrong.

Good news, though. Like any skill... levity can be learned.

And learning levity at work isn't about becoming funnier. It's about becoming more observant and a tiny bit more vulnerable.

It starts with noticing the absurd moments already happening around you: the printer that jams at the worst possible time, the acronym soup in every meeting, the gap between what the slide deck promises and what actually happens.

Everyone sees it. Most people ignore it or complain about it.

Leaders who understand humor name it, reframe it, and reclaim it. They use it to release tension everyone's already feeling.

Strategic humor isn't about punchlines or being the funniest person in the room. It's about pattern recognition and timing. Reading the moment, understanding your audience, and choosing levity as a tool—not a performance.

Like a chef who knows exactly when to lighten a heavy dish, effective leaders understand that appropriate humor doesn't dilute the message. It amplifies it.

When teams laugh together, they're not just having fun. They're building the kind of trust and connection that makes everything else—the hard conversations, the tight deadlines, the strategic pivots—actually possible.

And the research backs this up.

Why Humor Works

This isn't motivational-poster wisdom. This is research-backed performance science.

In 2012, researchers Mesmer-Magnus, Glew, and Viswesvaran conducted a meta-analysis of 49 studies spanning 8,532 employees. The findings were clear:

• Performance Gets Real Results Leaders who use positive humor see improved performance, higher engagement, and better team cohesion. Not because people feel "warm and fuzzy" but because they stay connected, collaborate more, and keep going when things get hard.

• The Perception Shift Stanford research shows humor makes leaders both more competent and more approachable. Nail a well-timed laugh in a tense meeting? You're signaling confidence, emotional intelligence, and humanity in one move. That's the shift from "person I report to" to "leader I'd follow anywhere." And not in a Lemmings-over-the-cliff way. (By the way, totally made-up story from Disney… Look it up!)

• Memory Through Connection We remember what we feel. Laughter creates emotional stickiness. That third bullet on slide 12? Gone by lunch. But your joke about the company's "aggressive growth strategy" sounding like a gym membership nobody uses? Quoted in next month's ops review.

Try a Bite This Week

You don't need a tight five at the Comedy Cellar. Just a few moves to make work feel more human:

🍴 The Absurdity Audit: Spot one ridiculous moment this week and reframe it with humor in your next team meeting. "My laptop has now achieved sentience and chosen chaos," goes a long way toward building resilience.

🍴 The Lighten-Up Lightning Round: Kick off your next meeting with a 60-second round of harmless team stories. Lead with your own: a coffee spill, an autocorrect fail. It shifts energy from transactional to human.

🍴 The "Oops, I Did It Again" Moment: End the week by sharing a small mistake and what you learned. "I accidentally replied-all. Now everyone knows I eat pineapple on pizza. No regrets." Normalize imperfection. Model growth. Build trust. (PS - Pineapple on pizza = definite regrets.)

A Final Thought

Strategic humor won't fix your org chart. Sadly for some of us, nothing will.

But for most of you, it might fix the energy in the room when no one wants to show up. Or when the team needs to know you are human.

Like a chef lightening a heavy sauce, you'll develop the instinct: when to joke, when to pause, when to break tension just enough to move forward.

This isn't about being funny all the time. It's about being intentional with moments of levity that build trust, strengthen bonds, and remind everyone why they're in the room together.

Because a workplace without humor is like a meal without high-quality Celtic salt… technically functional, but missing the Maldon magic.